That's got to be the first time anyone ever called the Stealth Camper "sexy". Compared to some of the beautiful work I have seen on this site it is downwright plane.
There is a detailed listing of what I paid on page 26 of the Stealth Camper Build Thread. I may have some things you won't have in there, but yours is a bigger box with many things I don't have.
blizzardND is another builder of his own rig that will confirm that the cost is 3X what you plan and still climbing. He also has a much more detailed list of expences than what I have that you can get in spreadsheet form if you ask.
Spray in foam is a great idea. Some have done it with very good results. I believe geofkaye is the expert on this site for doing it. It might even be cheaper or faster than the sheet foam I used. I spent many happy hours (days, weeks) slicing sheet foam and stuffing it into place. It got tedious after a while.
As for box twist or flex. I have had no difficulty of any kind. The seams on my inner plywood pannels haven't shifted at all. My box is FRP (Fiberglass Reinforced Plywood) which is very sturdy though. Your box is probably more flexible.
I can't speak to tanks as I don't have any. Well, 10 gallons of fresh water, but no black and essentially no grey. geofkey is a big fan of the incinerating toilet "Incinolet" and you seem to have access to plenty of electrical power to make it work. Some people really like their composting toilets (I wish I had gone that way.) Black tanks aren't really necessary, but of course the majority of standard RV's have them, so most people assume that they are. Grey tanks are necessary when you can't dump on the ground, which is considered not cool in most places. If you are going to have a shower (I don't) then you will need to catch the water somewhere. Don't forget, water is heavy, and tends to slosh. You might not travel with full tanks, but somtimes you have to, at least a little ways.
The weight of the buildout adds up, not to mention all of your tools. I was surprised at how much heavier my little 14" box truck got. You need to be careful about how much weight you add and where you add it. Overloading the front wheels is a common problem. Some builders weigh everything and do detailed calculations. Others build their truck and then find they have to shift stuff around, or not fully utilize their forward storage, or both. Go find a truck scale with zones for the different axels, and then drive the two right wheels (or left) only onto the scales. That will give you a base line to work with. I show those calculations for my finished truck on page 24.
Good luck!
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